An Air Rank
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water, gives policy to God.

A Group Captain
Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a bulldozer.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.

A Wing Commander
Leaps short building with a running start and a favourable wind.
Is almost as powerful as a bulldozer.
Walks on water on indoor swimming pools.
Talks to God if special request approved.

A Squadron Leader
Barely clears Nissen Huts.
Loses tug of war with bulldozer.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God.

A Flight Lieutenant
Makes high scratch marks when trying to leap buildings.
Is run over by locomotive.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury.
Dog paddles and talks to animals.

A Flying Officer
Runs into buildings.
Recognises locomotives two out of three times.
Is not issued with ammunition.
Can stay afloat with proper instruction in the use of a Mae West.
Talks to walls.

A Pilot Officer
Falls over doorsteps trying to enter buildings.
Says "Look at the choo-choo".
Is not issued with a gun.
Is God unto himself.

A Warrant Officer
Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the tracks,
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them.
Freezes water at a glance.
Is God.

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